Are you brave enough to turn it all off?
Can you turn off the TV, the Instagram, the phone? Can you unplug from all consumption and distractions? Just for a little while? Let me tell you from experience, it’s not comfortable. I have found out that distraction is comforting. To be able to reach for entertainment, or things to lose ourselves in, brings us comfort. Comfort from what? Comfort from being alone with yourself. Yes, you. You avoid you. You avoid your thoughts. You avoid your feelings. You avoid the neurotic conversations your mind has inside your head. When you truly face it, it’s very uncomfortable. You find yourself squirming, wanting, needing, something, anything, anyone or anything to comfort you from what is going on inside. What if you train yourself to stop running, stop numbing, stop distracting? What if you just watch you. Observe your innermost thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to change them, or suppress them, or deny them, but allow them and accept them. Instead of being the observer or how everyone else is doing life and searching for the answers in how they do things, observe yourself doing life. Even now as I sit writing this, I can feel a part of me wanting to just sink into the comfort of a good movie..to just zone out and not have to deal with myself. I’m not saying you can never take a break from yourself, however, it’s important to allow the space for that inner voice(s) to have their say. Remember we are balancing space and stuff in order to live a balanced, healthy life..therefore, we must hold space for ourselves to be ourselves. Just as we can’t consume food constantly and maintain a healthy body, we also can’t consume content constantly and have a healthy mind. What are you doing? When you cut out the consumption and distractions, what are you doing? I found myself really uncomfortable in the beginning. I just wanted to find something to do to get away from myself. It was and still is difficult for me to just sit with me, but I’m doing it. I am starting slow and will eventually be able to be with me for longer and longer stretches of time. How about you? Can you give it a try? #consciousness #space
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Use the S&S Process to help keep the body balanced and healthy.
What is the S&S Process? It’s a reminder to be mindful of both space and stuff in order to create a balanced life. To keep balance, we must honor and allow space while managing and maintaining our stuff. The word space can also be referred to as stillness, or nothingness. The word stuff can also be referred to as activity, movement, things,, anything that is form or is not stillness or nothingness. Let’s talk about the stuff. When it comes to stuff, the purer or more quality the stuff we consume or allow into our space is, the healthier we will be. Anything we bring into our homes or our personal space is a consumption of stuff. Anything we bring into our bodies is a consumption of stuff. Anything we bring into our minds is a consumption of stuff. Make the “stuff” quality or healthy stuff. Let’s use our bodies as an example of how to maintain balance by focusing on space and stuff. Your stomach is one of the containers in the body into which you can put stuff. In order to be healthy, you must honor both the space (empty stomach) and the stuff (food). You should be having a balance of space or empty stomach time and stuff or food time. If you continuously consume food and never allow time for true space to return to the stomach, your body will become unhealthy. The way we know that space has returned to the stomach is by the physical sensation of hunger. Once hunger returns, notice it. By taking time to allow it to return and then noticing it, you honor the space AND this results in you only consuming food when you are hungry. Now it’s time to consume the stuff or the food. Remember the purer or more quality the food is that you consume, the healthier your body will be. Be conscious and go through your day being very aware of this space/stuff balance. Allow time for both, not just one or the other. If you are wanting to get healthier or reduce your weight, just focus on today. Be deliberate just today, just right now, and then every now moment after this one. Check in with yourself. Start right now. Is it time for allowing space (hunger) to form or is space there and now it’s time to consume carefully chosen, quality foods? It’s also important to remember during the consuming stuff/food time, not to take up all the space. Always leave a little space. Think of it like only filling the gas tank to 1/2 or 3/4 of the way full. Give the food room/space to move around to make digestion easier. Allow the stuff and the space to work together. Keep the balance. There are many areas of life you can apply the S&S Process. See how many different ways you can apply it today to create balance. I don't know about you but I've been searching for one simple thing to remember that would help keep me on track and feeling balanced. I am so easily distracted and pulled off course.
Our minds have a tendency for more, more, more. More knowledge. More content. More learning. By consuming more, we silence the wisdom held in the empty spaces. I wrote a blog post a couple of weeks ago, and had to remind myself of it this weekend. I had already become tangled in distraction.. in the stuff of life. The stuff of life catches my attention and I forget to notice the space that holds the stuff. I'm finding if I can remember both space and stuff, I feel more balanced. In touch with the above and the below, the physical and the spiritual, the space and the energy. If I remember and honor space and manage the stuff, I feel balanced. How do you honor space? Notice it. Look at the space around things. Listen for the silence. Pay attention to silence. Don't fill it all up with noise and stuff. Leave some space. Honor it. How do you manage stuff? Do good by whatever you have in front of you in physical form. No matter if it's things, places, or people, do good by them. Take care of them. Manage, care, and maintain all things. Keep it clean. Keep it organized. Keep the stuff balanced with the space. You should have as many blank spaces as you have stuff in those spaces. This goes for the stuff in your mind as well. Meditate to bring space into your mind. Manage and maintain what stuff; memories and thoughts, you allow to swirl around in there all day. Watch the mental consumption of tv, social media, entertainment, distractions. All of that is stuff. Some stuff is ok but you don't want your mind full of stuff leaving no room for space. Why is it important to keep space open in the mind? True wisdom speaks to you in the space. If your mind is full of stuff, it's impossible to hear the wisdom that speaks through the space. Your inner teacher lives and speaks through the space in a "still" small voice. Do you think you can work towards finding your space-stuff balance? As I am practicing my daily mind training aka meditation, I am reconnecting and hearing more from my inner teacher aka intuition.
Something my inner teacher pointed out today was the best way to stay present was to drop the expectations the mind puts on every moment. Be relaxing! Be enlightening! Be transforming! Be healing! Mental expectations always breed pressure and stress which is the exact opposite of the stillness found in true presence. I find my mind putting pressure on my days off to be relaxing, spiritual, and transformative. It will make plans on how to shut everything and everyone off so I can make it an enlightening experience. My mind is trying to control each present moment instead of just allowing those moments to unfold as they will, without judgement. Of course this never works out and my mind is always frustrated and disappointed at the results. I am trying to shut out and avoid everything that adds stress or pressure not realizing that it's actually my mind or the voice in my head creating the stress and pressure, not the things around me. I am taking the stress maker, the critic, the judge of all things, with me to the yoga mat, to the meditation space, to the hammock, to the hiking trail. So what if instead of trying to control each moment, we just sink in, observe, and allow each moment. No matter what unfolds, if we are present, there is always a connector to our spiritual nature lying within the moment. Drop the mental expectation and the judgement of every moment. Maybe a lot happens and we observe and marvel at how it all unfolds. Maybe nothing happens and we enjoy the nothingness of that moment. Our job is not to control each moment, but to truly be in it no matter what the mind thinks of it. Short answer: You would discipline your mind, reclaim your inner space, and cultivate peace.
Long answer: 2 Daily Activities that Cultivate Peace
You will find that most everything falls under 1 of the 2 daily activities. I realised that my mind was constantly reaching externally for internal content. My mind just wanted to fill every space with something. Music, Youtube videos, teachings, losing itself in endless reels, movies, something.. anything.. to avoid or distract from the empty space or the suffering the mind had created. There is so much content temptation at our finger tips. All of the content in our phones is heavy competition and distraction against accessing peace. Now I have shifted my focus to protecting that empty space. I realise this empty space is the doorway to my peace, wisdom, and eternal, never changing, joy. I now limit the amount of time I allow my mind to indulge in external content. I also make sure whatever it is indulging in is pointing it towards peace, wisdom, and joy. I’ve set a precept for myself of allowing external content from the time I wake up till mid-day, then my focus shifts to space. The same with my physical body. Food is allowed in from the time I wake up till mid-day, then I allow my stomach to empty. This also reminds me to make it count…to take in quality content and quality food. Allowing the thoughts and content to settle and focusing on the space or pure energy that is always existing there quietly in the shadows. Stepping away from the role of the thinker and instead being the listener and the observer. The longer I practice this, the louder the voice of the inner teacher becomes. Cultivating inner peace takes discipline over the mind and it’s wants, needs, preferences, and suggestions of how it thinks you should spend your time. It takes discipline over your minds discomfort with empty space and stillness. Begin your practice of disciplining your mind by sitting upright, with your eyes closed, being very still for 10 minutes. Notice how uncomfortable your mind becomes. Notice how many things it tries to convince you to do instead of sitting still. Notice how resistant and frustrated it becomes. Notice how critical and negative it becomes. Notice, but continue to hold your ground and sit still. Accessing peace will require a battle of wills between you and the mind with whom you share a physical vessel. Once you reclaim the space, you can cultivate peace. On my car ride home yesterday, I played a little game with myself. I thought about what I would say if interviewed (by an imaginary person) at the end of 2024. I imagined the end of the year like a finish line and someone with a microphone in my face asking, " So how does it feel now that you've_____(fill in the blank)? I loved this thought because by making me think about how it felt to succeed at something, it also made me focus in more on what I wanted to succeed at! I thought about my work category. My work category is not my 9-5 job. It's the work I do that resonates with my soul purpose. It's supporting, teaching, sharing, motivating, helping, inspiring, others in the same boat I am in or maybe in boats I used to be in. As I write this out, I realize that I not only do this in my coaching business, but also have the opportunity to do this at my 9-5. I am an amazing support to others and others are an amazing support to me.This is my goal. This is what I want to be. I want to be an amazing support to others. I also know to keep it balanced and healthy, I need to also allow others to be an amazing support to me! So, when I think about answering the question at the end of the year, "how does it feel now that you've been an amazing support to others and they have been an amazing support to you?" I feel PROUD of myself for being supportive and my heart feels full of gratitude that others have been an amazing support to me. How does the law of attraction fit in?By asking myself that question "how does it feel now that you've" ..I'm able to find the emotion that I need to practice each day.
Why would I practice feeling this way each day? Practicing how you will feel activates your inner being, or your creative inner child who is always silently eavesdropping in the background and creating a reality to support how you feel. How does the inner child create the new reality? Your inner being can see everything that you can not. It can see the way, the higher perspective and begins moving you in the direction required to support your reality filling in to bring you those people, situations, and experiences that help you feel the feeling you consistently practice. It also controls your behaviors. When it's time to act because enough of the new reality has filled in and it's time to take the next step, you will be urged to act. No questions or debating back and forth if this is the right action. You just know and do. Different thoughts and ideas begin flowing through your mental space as well. You begin to think differently. You have ah ha moments and revelations. A new understanding begins to emerge as the new reality begins to fill in around you. For example, this morning as I was practicing the feeling of supporting others and feeling supported, I felt a strong and immediate urge to reach out by text to two of my clients. So I did. I also had the thought that supporting my clients over text gave me more of the feeling I was seeking, than just posting to instagram. The back and forth in the communication and connection is very rewarding to me. A revelation. I will keep practicing this feeling and see where the urges move me to act. What I will not do, that I've had the tendency to do in the past, is suddenly think I know everything because I've had a new thought go through my mental space and then start taking actions out of desperation, or trying, or struggling to make things happen before it's time. I will practice patience. I will practice feeling proud and full. I will do my part and stay out of the way while my inner being does it's part. The Vision BoardWhile scrolling on instagram, I was inspired to devise a plan of action for 2024. I've actually never made a vision board, however, for some reason this short reel was incredibly motivating. The girl explained how at the first of every year, she sat down with 2 notebooks and a laptop. In the first notebook, she wrote all the negative things that happened in the past year in order to get it out in front of her and leave it behind. Then she took the second notebook and started brainstorming what she wanted to change. After she finished her list, she gathered photos from pinterest that would remind her of the things she listed, then uploaded them to canva and made a photo collage or vision board. She made this vision board her desktop photo on her laptop and her phone so she would see it and be reminded everyday. She also added that she had achieved every goal she had set for herself last year! Well shoot!! I need direction and focus!! I want to achieve my goals too! I came up with my own version of this and explored my past year in each of the following life categories: Home, Body, Work, Money, Relationships. While luckily I didn't have much to write about as far as super negative things that had happened this past year, I did see a lot that I wanted to change and or improve in each category. I sat down for about 4 hours with my notebook and my laptop opened to pinterest and canva. In each of the 5 Life categories I wrote 3 things I wanted to change or improve. What an eye opening exercise and I may also add it was 4 hours of time well spent. I was able to see that feeling safe was my greatest desire. I could see that I go through life feeling unsafe in most categories of life. I will change that this year! Once I was able to see what I wanted my focus to be in each category, I begin my Pinterest photo search for images that would give me reminders of what I wanted to see and feel this upcoming year. I then added it to my laptop desktop photo as well as my phone. Habits and FocusI know from years of life coaching, that every journey to real and lasting change begins with forming new thought habits that result in new behavior habits. To create a new thought habit you need daily reminders in order to stay focused on your goal. Otherwise, life will distract you and your old thought habits and behaviors move back in and nothing changes. So I went on the search for some new habits to begin adopting as well as positive affirmations to fuel my new behaviors. I found this article helpful if you would also like to read it. It lists 25 healthy habits that support a healthy lifestyle. I then picked out my favorite habits and made a daily event on my outlook calendar to pop up on my phone and remind me of my daily focus. It looks like this: I have found this to be very helpful in keeping me on track in creating a morning ritual and a bedtime ritual that supports my goals. Doable Giving of Focus and Motivation to Others.As part of my new work goals, I decided I wanted to give consistently to others but also make it "doable" for me. My old tendency is to become very out of balance by going at it hard and burning myself out and then quitting. The quitting never feels good. I feel like I fail all those I was working so hard to motivate and inspire. So this year, I will practice healthy and balanced giving....and receiving. I will make sure I keep a door open for those who enjoy or benefit from my giving to give back if they like.
I'll be writing more here and dividing the post into the 5 life categories..that way if you only need motivation in one area of life, you can just follow the category that most interest you. Happy New Year!!! Be good to yourself and spend a little time getting to know what direction you wish to take in this year and I hope to inspire and motivate you all along the way! Angie |
AuthorHi I'm Angie! I'm a mental health/life coach sharing my daily journey to creating the habits and lifestyle that support a me that feels relaxed and safe. ArchivesCategories |